Hot One-Flesh Union with Robby George
George argues that only vaginal intercourse—“procreative-type” sex acts, as George puts it—can consummate this “multilevel” mind-body union. Only in reproduction, unlike digestion, circulation, respiration or any other bodily function, do two individuals perform a single function and thus become, in effect, “one organism.” … Unloving sex between married partners does not perform the same multilevel function, he argues, nor does oral or anal sex—even between loving spouses.
Awww yeah, baby, I’m ready
for some bodily sharing.
You know what I mean:
the earthy stuff. Let’s become
one organism. You on top?
I guess that’s OK as long as the
quarterback stays in the pocket.
It’s kinda unnatural, but I guess
the Lord thought it was all right…
after all…we’re still vaginal…OK,
now let me do my business.
Com! pre! hen! sive! UNITY!!!!!
Phew. Excellent coitus.
I’m sorry the Lord thinks your
orgasms are superfluous, dear,
but we’ve been over the
“extra rubbing” bit before. That’s not
part of the Lord’s great design.
Face it: Eve was responsible for the Fall.
Payback, as the kids say, is a female dog.
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December 22nd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
unless his particular fetish is “procreating” I’d be willing to bet HE’s getting some extra rubbing somewhere- watch the back allies, this hypocrite male is bound to be spotted slinking down one eventually…
December 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
His fetish may very well be procreation, or at least being open to the possibility thereof. After all, even infertile couples must perform the sacred act “even if they know their sperm and ovum cannot complete it.” Poor little sperm and ova, playing the game so merrily even though they cannot win in traditional terms. They win just by being on the team!
As far as the “alleys” go…metaphorically, at least, I’d guess not.
December 22nd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
yeah I thought that interesting- by his own logic, infertile couples shouldn’t bother- unless he factoring in a possible miraculous conception.
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I thought he was making the point that even infertile couples should participate in vaginal intercourse as a way of supporting the team and also receiving the one-flesh union benefits, of course. Because you’re thinking, well, if they can’t conceive, maybe they could do the other stuff? But no.
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Geez, this just gets better and better. Excellent coitus.
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Excellent Coitus: More Jokes About Catholics and Sex!
Excellent Coitus: Your Guide to Doctrinally Correct Marital Relations
Excellent Coitus! The Joy of Catholic Lovemaking!
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:28 pm
My wife and I were sitting in a diner when I said, “Did you know Mary Valle is KtB’s news poet these days?”
“Really?” she said. “What’s a news poet?”
So I read this news poem aloud. “Com! pre! hen! sive! UNITY!!!!!”
I gotta tell you, it was no “When Harry Met Sally,” but still, my wife reached over and tried to physically silence me as the next table stared. So I guess Robby George is right about excellent coitus: it brought out the Catholic in Julie, my ex-altar girl multilevel mind-body union partner.
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:09 pm
That next table was just jealous, Jeff. They don’t know the power of excellent coitus.
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Excellent coitus. Well, now I know what to name my next band.