Mary Valle
Mary Valle lives in Baltimore and is the author of Cancer Doesn't Give a Shit About Your Stupid Attitude: Reflections on Cancer and Catholicism. She blogs on KtB as The Communicant. For more Mary, check out her blog or follow her on Twitter.
Recent Posts by Mary
Christian Community Lifestyle, Eh?
This new radio PSA says I should have my documents safe in case “something happens” and it kinda freaks me out @
Young and Hip!
Dear mainline Protestants, In the spirit of ecumenical sharing, here’s how you bring in the youngsters! (Believe me, these work) Guitars! Felt banners! Any and all of Ray Repp’s Mass for a Young America in heavy rotation (That’s FM radio lingo); Bible study/”rap sessions” —get some beanbags and have it in your rectory’s living room…
Passing a Note to the Catholic Bishops
Your Excellencies, In the name of religious cooperation, I have this friend, Mr. Massoom. Anyway, he gives these little seminars to mullahs I think you might find kind of enlightening. Yeah, just give it a try. You can always fiddle with your robe or look at your watch if it gets too uncomfortable, he totally…
Creep’s Health Declines in Custody
Dr. Berkman, Repeatedly kidnapping and raping girls sorta already made Tony Alamo (leader of Tony Alamo Christian Ministries) a “walking time bomb.” @
The Bishop of Rome Likes Your Link
Mary K! LOL! Go to confession. What? It was only a joke! Your jokes wound the Lord, MK. Now. 🙂 @
Priests in Space
Souls are souls, even extraterrestrial But please, dear Vatican astronomers, take a moment and read The Sparrow @
Abortion Issue: Solved!
Once we’re sufficiently full of plastics reproduction might cease anyway @ @
That Anglican Divorce Thing (Again!)
Your Holiness, we didn’t see this one coming— Anglican congregations are divorcing—amicably! They’re all “No thanks, Rome, we’re cool. We’re even praying for each other.” We know, Your Holiness. They can pray all they want, they’re still heretics. Your Holiness? (Muttered German cursing; swishing of silken robes; furious soft padding of Prada slippers) @
They’re Not on Ships!
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Dwayne Hess (Hearts All Around)
A former Mennonite farmer, now openly gay and divorced Opened a lovely coffeehouse in Baltimore where homeless people can find peace His ex-wife volunteers
Ruffing’s Instructions
Your Grace, could you please refrain from pointing your right toe in? OK, now, Your Grace, could you please not bite your lower lip? Great. Now, Your Grace, please, please, just clasp your hands behind your back. Because, sir, that little twiddling thing you’re doing with your sideburn is a little distracting. No, not one…
Wives Birthing Wives Birthing Wives
Childbirth is difficult enough without a picture of your leader who may or may not be checking out your goods (or scheduling your infant daughter’s marriage) smiling down at you throughout the ordeal @
True Religion Falls on Weak Earnings, Downgrade
At first glance, I thought this headline referred to the One True Faith Guess that serves them right for trying to boonswoggle people about the nature of $300 cotton pants @
You’re Being Way Too Patriarchal
At Hampshire College, in a Critical Approaches to European History class, one of my fellow women—we were not girls—raised her hand and complained that the class was too Eurocentric. Was she there when the Ecumenical Patriarch of Orthodox Christianity gave an address on his patriarchal anniversary speaking of their patriarchal mission of human rights, religious…
Rejoice with Me!
CNN: Father Alberto Cutie, an internationally known Catholic priest who admitted having a romantic affair and breaking his vow of celibacy, is joining the Episcopal Church to be with the woman he loves, he said Thursday. […] “Father Cutie’s actions have caused grave scandal within the Catholic Church, harmed the Archdiocese of Miami—especially our priests—and…
He’s Kinda Cute, Maybe I Will?
Hi! Dan Halloran. Nice to meet you, Ms. Jensen. I’m a Republican running for City Council in your district. The robe? Well, I’m also the First Atheling of New Normandy… what your people call “New York.” You could basically call me the New Normannii Reik of Theodish Belief. What? It’s no biggie. Just me and…
Studying Mormons at Harvard
I would personally like to offer a prize* to the first scholar to complete a thorough dissertation on the young Saint and true heroine, Miss Elizabeth Smart @ *The prize is the Mary Valle Award for Contemporary Scholarship in Sainthood** **Which is a poem in your honor and three shiny quarters
Sunday Morning Lights
If Coach Taylor is in the pulpit and we all get to shout this at the end of the service And slap a little painted cross on our way out to the Big Game called Life? I’m in. @ “The United Methodists took home the 2009 Getting Attention Nonprofit Tagline Award in the category of…