Mary Valle, communicating while munching on communion, reports the news in verse.

Killing the Buddha

I Get the Hijab Thing Now

That’s funny. Drag protest against Iran. Huh. Those men in hijab, they’re sort of… interesting. Like, how you can only see that sliver of their faces? It’s kind of… mysterious.…

Killing the Buddha

Import This, Europe

You think you’re so smart, Mr. European Gay Man! Well, we didn’t bring homophobia to Uganda. It was already there! We just sprinkled some salt—MSG more like—on it to make…

Goatee Rides

Rick Warren’s Extreme Measures

In order to save our church, dear parishioners, I am unretiring my Goatee Rides T-shirt. I’m offering this service for the low, low price of $100,000. Just nine ladies can…


Female Monks Everywhere!

Consider yourself warned, Western fools! The upcoming epidemic of female monks will bring down societies! These “monkettes” will meditate and pray. A lot! They will wear robes and shave their…

Killing the Buddha

Vatican Smiles Upon Barebacking

Don’t be mistaken, it’s not that we condone pornography or any of the acts undertaken therein; however, we do applaud L.A. County’s rejection of a proposed court order to require…

Don't Get Drunk and Go to Parties!

Cuts in Abstinence Funding Affect Abstinence Program

Dear Abstainers, Threatened cuts in federal funding to my program, Don’t Get Drunk and Go To Parties, will cut into our programs for the year 2010. Specifically, we will have…


Hot One-Flesh Union with Robby George

George argues that only vaginal intercourse—“procreative-type” sex acts, as George puts it—can consummate this “multilevel” mind-body union. Only in reproduction, unlike digestion, circulation, respiration or any other bodily function, do…

Killing the Buddha

Doctor Talks Sense to Faith-Healing Cardinal

“It would be a brave person that used prayer instead of conventional treatment for a curable cancer—it’s a complementary practice,” Dr Goldstein said. Goldstein added, “By brave, I mean stupid,…

Heathens Game

Wanna Play Stone the Heretic?

Ecumenical goodwill? We’ve got it! GodGames has something for friends of every religious persuasion this interfaith holiday season! How about a fun game of Cover Your Hair (Or Suffer the…

Aussie and Kiwi

Australia 1, NZ 0

He cautioned that MacKillop’s imminent canonisation should not descend into national triumphalism. ”You don’t say ra-ra … Australia beat New Zealand one-nil.” Furthermore, God saw fit to give us such…


Satan Mocks Jesus Junk

Hey, I noticed you guys were doing ripoffs of real brands. So, you just, like imitate actual things but put Jesus in there. Huh. Cute. What’s that? I couldn’t hear…

Killing the Buddha

Bill Gates vs. Baby Jesus

Kids! Get back over here! Look, it’s Albert Einstein. The father of relativity! And Eleanor Roosevelt! She kick-started feminism! Yes, the donkeys are very cute,Tallulah. The baby? Well, some people…

Killing the Buddha

You Must Have a Special Need to Make Us Feel Bad

Kid! It was supposed to be something that reminded you of Christmas! Baby Jesus, OK. Dead Jesus—with X’s over his eyes? Jesus Christ! Way to ruin the party! @

Killing the Buddha

Rick Warren on the D.L.

Baby? I didn’t mean it. You know America doesn’t understand me like you do. It’s just—it’s just—I gotta keep her from getting all up in my business. But you know…

Killing the Buddha

Orrin Hatch Sings Hanukkah!

Aw, the Jews! God loved ’em and so do I! They’re so cute, they don’t even realize that God’s made a new and new new covenant with us! And look…

Killing the Buddha

I’m Being Paroled to My Father in Heaven

If heaven is going to be packed with parts-scattering murderers Purgatory’s looking better and better @

sodomy promotion

NJ Man Disrupts Satan’s Plot

Jewish Taskforce: Get out there! I need more sodomy in the human population! Sodomy! You know: Oral, anal— stuff like that. Promote the hell out of it!  What? Damnit! One…

Killing the Buddha

Ladies and Gays and Gay Ladies!

The Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles would like to serve notice to the rest of the Church and the worldwide Communion of believers: It. Is. On. (Bitches!)