KtBlog

Mary Valle, communicating while munching on communion, reports the news in verse.

Killing the Buddha

Passing a Note to the Catholic Bishops

Your Excellencies, In the name of religious cooperation, I have this friend, Mr. Massoom. Anyway, he gives these little seminars to mullahs I think you might find kind of enlightening.…

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Creep’s Health Declines in Custody

Dr. Berkman, Repeatedly kidnapping and raping girls sorta already made Tony Alamo (leader of Tony Alamo Christian Ministries) a “walking time bomb.” @

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The Bishop of Rome Likes Your Link

Mary K! LOL! Go to confession. What? It was only a joke! Your jokes wound the Lord, MK. Now. 🙂 @

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Priests in Space

Souls are souls, even extraterrestrial But please, dear Vatican astronomers, take a moment and read The Sparrow @

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That Anglican Divorce Thing (Again!)

Your Holiness, we didn’t see this one coming— Anglican congregations are divorcing—amicably! They’re all “No thanks, Rome, we’re cool. We’re even praying for each other.” We know, Your Holiness. They…

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Abortion Issue: Solved!

Once we’re sufficiently full of plastics reproduction might cease anyway @ @

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Dwayne Hess (Hearts All Around)

A former Mennonite farmer, now openly gay and divorced Opened a lovely coffeehouse in Baltimore where homeless people can find peace His ex-wife volunteers

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They’re Not on Ships!

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Ruffing’s Instructions

Your Grace, could you please refrain from pointing your right toe in? OK, now, Your Grace, could you please not bite your lower lip? Great. Now, Your Grace, please, please,…

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Wives Birthing Wives Birthing Wives

Childbirth is difficult enough without a picture of your leader who may or may not be checking out your goods (or scheduling your infant daughter’s marriage) smiling down at you…

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True Religion Falls on Weak Earnings, Downgrade

At first glance, I thought this headline referred to the One True Faith Guess that serves them right for trying to boonswoggle people about the nature of  $300 cotton pants…

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You’re Being Way Too Patriarchal

At Hampshire College, in a Critical Approaches to European History class, one of my fellow women—we were not girls—raised her hand and complained that the class was too Eurocentric. Was…

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Rejoice with Me!

CNN: Father Alberto Cutie, an internationally known Catholic priest who admitted having a romantic affair and breaking his vow of celibacy, is joining the Episcopal Church to be with the…

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He’s Kinda Cute, Maybe I Will?

Hi! Dan Halloran. Nice to meet you, Ms. Jensen. I’m a Republican running for City Council in your district. The robe? Well, I’m also the First Atheling of New Normandy……

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Sunday Morning Lights

If Coach Taylor is in the pulpit and we all get to shout this at the end of the service And slap a little painted cross on our way out…

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Studying Mormons at Harvard

I would personally like to offer a prize* to the first scholar to complete a thorough dissertation on the young Saint and true heroine, Miss Elizabeth Smart @ *The prize…

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The Boston Archdiocese Flu Protocol

Good news, Bostonians! No more limp handshakes and mumbled greetings of peace— you shall also be spared the embarrassing holding of strangers’ sweaty hands through an interminable singing of the…

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Bring Back Catholic Horror (Especially Dashing Jesuits Like Fr. Karras, am I Right, Ladies?)

House of the Devil might be promising— but I wish they’d bring back horror movies with heroic, Satan- banishing priests @