Mary Valle, communicating while munching on communion, reports the news in verse.

Sister Mary

Stay Out of the Stacks!

Readers—our Communicant, Mary Valle, has been missing for a few days. She was last seen telling her husband she was going to do a little research in the KtB archives…


Dispatch from Catholic Camp

I was recently digging in the KtB archives, researching my upcoming coffee-table book of Catholic summer camps, Our Lady of the Woods. I found this oddity—a postcard from a Catholic…


I Pledge Allegiance to the Christian Flag?

Flags get people all bent out of shape, that’s for sure. They will kill and die to defend them and freak out if you let them touch the ground and…

Killing the Buddha

The Vatican: Hip to the Simpsons

Dear Vatican, There’s a class at my local Learning Annex I think might be interesting for all your holinesses? It’s called “A Crash Course in Not Seeming Desperate.” No, you’re…

Immaculately conceived?

Immaculate Misconception

An ice-cream ad picturing a pregnant nun with the tagline “immaculately conceived” has been pulled on the eve on the pope’s visit to England. The ad makes cheeky reference to…


Pastor Jones: Some Other Combustibles

Dear Pastor Terry Jones, You’re all fired up about burning Qur’ans on 9/11. OK. We get that. But, at the last minute, perhaps you’ll reconsider your choice of fuel? Think…

Dynamite Cross

That’s Irish Evangelism

1972: Secret IRA priest is protected from prosecution in car bomb attack— Martin Scorsese! cue up “Gimme Shelter” http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE67N23820100824

Eat Pray Love

Unseen Movie/Unread Book Review: Eat Pray Love

I recently saw a commercial for the movie Eat Pray Love. I said, “This is the sort of thing that makes me embarrassed to be a white lady, just like…

Newark Liberty Logo

Nondenominational Chapel, Please?

Newark Liberty Airport I want to see your logo in stained glass

Killing the Buddha

In the Appropriate Marital Context, of Course

Ladies of America! Pro-gay McDonald’s ad leads to downsizing of Peter LaBarbera’s gut: his junk will soon be accessible!


Not Too Polluted Now, Are We?

BALTIMORE July 26, 2010 – Since many of the world’s holy rivers are now too polluted for ritual use, Baltimore is offering a unique solution: use our Inner Harbor! “It’s…

Killing the Buddha

Holy Ghost Enemas

Hell is, obviously: their bedroom http://bit.ly/97NfVG

Killing the Buddha

Hand in Hand

Perfect sideline for guilty adman: weekend shaman

Angelina Jolie

Nice Try, Brad and Angie

“ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT GET SERIOUS ABOUT RELIGION” If you are not making regular use of the phrase “Get in the Goddamn car!” on Saturdays or Sundays it’s not…

Cardinal Polanski

Pontifigate: A Future for Polanski?

MoDowd kills it in today’s New York Times regarding the “sex abuse crisis”/”grave sin” of ordaining—gasp!—womyn. She notes “If Roman Polanski were a priest, he’d still be working here.” I’d…

Saturday's Warrior

The Communicant’s Summer Jamz!

I had a hankerin’ for Tommy Brew’s unpopular Youth Mass 1970 album. Considered a riposte to Ray Repp (whom Brew considered to be overly sentimental), the songs were never performed…

Fig. 1: The BP Oil Spill Memorial Lighting of the Empire State Building.

Some Other Empire State Rejectees

Controversy has erupted over the Empire State Building’s refusal to specially illuminate in honor of the centennial of Nobel Peace Prize winner Mother Teresa’s birth. No explanation was given. Consider…

Killing the Buddha

God’s “Long List” Finally Found!

USA Today reports: At his new church, Haggard said he will teach that God intended marriage to be a monogamous union of a man and a woman. But he said…