KtBlog

Mary Valle, communicating while munching on communion, reports the news in verse.

Soleil de la Louisiane

Louisiana Coast: Return to Sender

Dear France, You’ve been good friends. Great friends! And all that trouble you’re having with the Muslims and stuff? We totally get that. We’ve got our own problems in that…

Killing the Buddha

Just a Few Questions

SS. Dismas and Gestas Elementary School New Student Questionnaire Parents: Please fill out the following questions so that we may get to know you better! 1. How was your child…

Killing the Buddha

Pontifigate: The Movie

I’m turning in my film-reviewing credentials right now. Today. This instant. Because I never need to, nay, never will, see another movie again. Because I have been lucky enough to…

pontifigate condoms

Pontifigate Comes to Downing Street

Young Steven Mulvain has come under fire for a leaked British Foreign Office memo in which he suggests some activities for the Pope in his upcoming visit to Britain, including…

Killing the Buddha

#Pontifigate Fever

Friend-of-KtB Sascha Freudenheim brought this clip to my attention: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c You’re Welcome – Church Scandal Prevention www.thedailyshow.com Daily Show…

Pie chart

Secret Vatican Pie Chart Revealed

To: Fr. Cantalassa, Fr. Lombardi, Cardinal Bertone From: “Joe” Subject: Recent Annoyances If the questions persist, stick to the plan. Remember: clockwise around the pie, for our Lord most high.…

Killing the Buddha

We Blush at Papal Generosity

“Civil law … should always be followed.” Vatican, you’re the best!

Life After People on the History Channel

Smell You Later, Jesus

Sometimes odd things cheer me up. Sometimes I get into moods, OK? Maybe sometimes I get into certifiable mood disorders which may or may not be detailed in the DSM-IV?…

Good News in Wartime

A Good Opening

From the pamphlet Sharing the Good News in Wartime The Biblical verses on some of our gunsights have caused some controversy. When asked, why not use it as an opening…

Barry Manilow

The “Silly Season”

This is sung to the chorus of “Mandy” by Barry Manilow. Oh Ross, You came and you wrote about rapists It was a nice try, oh Ross Blamin’ it all…

Clerical Wipes

Catholic Watergate

Are you one of those who loves Watergate, and wishes that you could have lived through it? Is All the President’s Men one of your favorite movies? Did you spend…

Lenten Fast

Meat: It’s What’s for Lunch

Dear Ross, It is not for me to judge another’s Lenten sacrifice; giving up cappuccinos or pedicures might really be a hardship for someone else. However, I was a little…

Killing the Buddha

You Know, Just Talking to God

As of late, I have been talking to God. I have been complaining to God. I have been wondering if religion is much like golf. One summer afternoon when I…

Killing the Buddha

The Uses of God

Sometimes I have this dream. It’s a kind of party in the afterlife, and all of my friends are there. Not just my friends, but their best friends, too, like…

Killing the Buddha

Hooky Luncheon

Yesterday I was eating lunch with my six-year-old daughter, her friend, and her friend’s mother. We were all playing hooky. We got into some talk about God (I didn’t prompt…

Preg-Crate

Strong Enough for a Dog

Worried about your pregnant woman when you’re not around? Worry no more. Safe-Rite Products is proud to announce the Preg-Crate! No falling down stairs! No sushi or Diet Coke! No…

The Quiff

Morrissey Debuts New Song!

Just in on theQuiff.net, the best Morrissey newsoutlet in the web! Adding to his collection of songs with Asian or Islamic themes (Bengali in Platforms, Asian Rut and I Will…

rainbow cross

Look for the Rainbow! (A Short Musical)

There are three characters. MAINLINE is a middle-aged, nondescript, reverend in generic dog-collar, cardigan, and sneakers. CATHOLIC wears elaborate robes, a pointy hat, bears a crozier. EVANGELICAL has on the…