Comforted by “Cancertainment”

Febz Beloy writes in from the Philippines with a note about Mary Valle’s essay “That’s Cancertainment!“:

In its own odd little way, I find your article comforting. My mother has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized to the bones and she’s a non-smoker. It’s tempting to ask “Why?” but then my mind seems to have a ready reply—”Why not?” We’re not insulated from these circumstances because we’re good enough, caring enough or religious enough.

I find it difficult to be and stay positive despite what others say. I am still transitioning between denial, bargaining and partial acceptance. The following quotes have even been my least favorite bromide:

Everything happens for a reason and God does not give you anything you can’t handle.

Sometimes it takes more harm than good when people tell me that everything’s gonna be okay. Because I know it won’t be and things won’t go back to normal anymore.

I am reading C.S. Lewis now in the hope that I can make some sense of what I’m going through.

And I guess I can relate to his words below:

I lay awake all night with toothache, thinking about toothache and about lying awake.

That’s true to life. Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer.

Thank you, Febz. We wish you and your mother the best.