PSA for KGOD, Boise Idaho. 1/2010 A.D.

(GARY OWENSESQUE ANNOUNCER) Americans! You know that thing where there’s only one set of footprints on the beach ’cause that’s where Jesus carried you? Well, right now, in Haiti, there aren’t any footprints on the beach.

(OMINOUS SYNTHESIZER) Jesus is overloaded! He needs YOU to step into the breach and help the people of Haiti in their time of need! It’s not just food and shelter! Man doesn’t live on bread alone, fellow Christians!

(“VOODOO” DRUMS) Souls are at risk! And have been for some time in this cursed land! Children! Are growing up with dangerous, Satanic influences! And more are arriving daily! Won’t you help?

(CHEERFUL LIGHT JAZZ) After all, “disaster” is only another word for “opportunity.” God broke Haiti’s eggs, fellow Christians. Who’s going to scramble ’em? Come to

Haiti

Haiti

HAITI!!!!!

and save

Souls

Souls

SOULS!!!!

(Laws may vary. If arrested, claim to be doing the Lord’s work.)