He’s a Belieber

Justin Bieber, according to the New York Post, was recently “scouring New York for a pool” in which to conduct a “baptism-like ritual.” The fuzzy-lipped Canadian has been in trouble with the law as of late, and so required a “spiritual cleansing” of some sort. Justin is said to favor the Hillsong Church in New York, whose apostle of cool Carl Lentz caused Bieber to once tweet “Amazing sermon at church this morning. Love you man. I broke down today” at him.

Justin, I know we’re not like super good friends or anything, and you probably don’t want my advice but here goes. Just become a Catholic. No, it’s a great idea. Show this chart to your manager, OK?

Bieber just chart

Mary Valle lives in Baltimore and is the author of Cancer Doesn't Give a Shit About Your Stupid Attitude: Reflections on Cancer and Catholicism. She blogs on KtB as The Communicant. For more Mary, check out her blog or follow her on Twitter.