Not Too Polluted Now, Are We?

BALTIMORE July 26, 2010 – Since many of the world’s holy rivers are now too polluted for ritual use, Baltimore is offering a unique solution: use our Inner Harbor! “It’s just as polluted as the Ganges or Jordan, but offers access to paddleboats, many chain tourist restaurants, and an aging mall with a lot of odd, dusty, off-brand shops,” said Baltimore Now! spokesperson Mindy Maloney. “Additionally, airfare to Baltimore is cheap!” She went on to mention spiritual “packages” and note that “only somewhat toxic” crab delicacies are a specialty of the region. “Being a brackish estuary has never been better!” she exclaimed. “I’m talking about the Atlantic,” she giggled. “Sorry. I know that’s not funny.”

Mary Valle lives in Baltimore and is the author of Cancer Doesn't Give a Shit About Your Stupid Attitude: Reflections on Cancer and Catholicism. She blogs on KtB as The Communicant. For more Mary, check out her blog or follow her on Twitter.