Pastor Inky and His Amazing Shredded-Knee Slacks

Good news, Carl Lentz. You are now officially one of my Favorite People. Some of my other current Favorite People (FPs) are Raymond Cardinal Burke, Eden Foods and Hobby Lobby. FPs come and go however, Carl, so be warned: you may end up with Ross Douthat and Rick Perry in the rubbish-bin of such other currently unliked-likes as Battlestar Galactica and Needlepoint.

Back to you, Carl. DJs. Big-screen TVs. Ripped pants? Tattoos!??!!? In church!??!  Gosh. It’s like no one’s ever done that before. Oh wait. They have. You have an “ask what God can do for you” message. Apparently, God will hand out miracles — you just gotta let him know what you need. For example:


The guy on the left asked God to make him look like Brad Pitt!

Apparently, one of the things your God does is ask people to ignore science. I guess no Hillsong church outings to the Museum of Natural History, then? ‘Cause I would surely volunteer for that (Combat boots? Cutoffs? Roach-clip-as-barrette? Just a few ideas for my “cool” getup). Before I sign up or am convinced or accept you as my personal savior let me make sure I understand you correctly. Guitars: good. Dinosaurs: bad. Holey pants-knees your wife made with a sturdy pair of Fiskars: good. Stem cells (whatever those are, but they sound gross): bad. Australian Christian rock: good. Chess and orchestra: bad. Dunking Justin Bieber in a hotel pool, good, but New York City: hollow.

OK, totally. I may not “agree” with your views but I just dig your stuff. There’s nothing like a shiny preacher who says that “religion is dead” with a lightshow and a worship band IMO. Carl Lentz: awesome.

Mary Valle lives in Baltimore and is the author of Cancer Doesn't Give a Shit About Your Stupid Attitude: Reflections on Cancer and Catholicism. She blogs on KtB as The Communicant. For more Mary, check out her blog or follow her on Twitter.