Religion: ___

Once July 15 passes, it’s all back-to-school displays in the megastores and reenrollment paperwork/digital forms/paying of tuition tout de suite. It still makes my stomach hurt. A friend just passed along this list from her son’s back-to-school forms. If you’re wondering what the religion choices might be at an “independent” “East Coast” stone-walled place of learning—here are your choices.

7th Day Adventist
A.M.E.
Agnostic
Angelican (Huh? -Mary)
Apostolic
Bahai
Baptist
Baptist/Presbyterian
Buddhist
Catholic
Catholic/Episcopalian
Catholic/Jewish
Catholic/Lutheran
Catholic/Protestant
Christian
Christian/Baptist
Congregational
Episcopalian
Episcopalian/Lutheran
Greek Orthodox
Hindu
Islam
Jehovan’s Witness
Jewish
Jewish/Buddhist
Jewish/Catholic
Jewish/Episcopalian
Jewish/Protestant
Lutheran
Methodist
Mormon
Muslim
Non-Denominational
None
Not Affliated
Orthodox Christian
Other
Pentecostal
Prefer Not to Designate
Presbyterian
Protestant
Quaker
Quaker/Jewish
Russian Orthodox
Unitarian

I have so many questions about this list, but the first that springs to mind is, “How can one person be a Catholic and an Episcopalian at the same time? That’s like Coke and Pepsi being in the same can, but distinctly separate. Unless, of course, you are part of the Anglican migration and attending an Anglican-rite Roman church, but somehow that’s not what I think they had in mind.” And I wonder what I’d check off if I had to fill it out for myself—I don’t think they have the right category for me, which is frequently a problem I encounter and no big surprise. I showed this to my daughter, whom I thought still identified as a Catholic/Buddhist. Nope: she’s joined the great Non-Denominational movement. They grow up so fast. Sigh.