The Lent Bin

I’ve barely got my Christmas decorations put away and was pondering hearts and snowflakes for St. Valentine’s Day when I realized that Lent begins February 13th this year. February. 13.

I mentioned this to a Sister in Christ and she said she had already gotten out her “bin of Lent stuff.” “I gotta get mine out,” I sighed.  “Wait. What’s in yours?”

Herein, a guide to our combined Lenten gear.

1. Switch

2. Woolen scapular (not synthetic and/or covered in plastic)

3. Decrepit box of Sweet ‘n Low, which is never used but might be, someday

4. Sanka: as in “Let me get you a cup of,” and “That’s all right, I’m fine.”

5. Letters and Papers From Prison by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

6. “Family-size” bottle of lorazepam from Mexico

7. Last year’s Lent Chart—how did you do? Do you want to aim high or low this year?

8. Some leftover dried palm leaves—must return before Ash Wednesday!

9. Lamb-shaped cake mold; may be used for “dietetic” Jell-O, a special “treat”

10. Fish Fry Friday apron

11. The Confessions of St. Augustine

12. Burlap undies

13. Diabetic hard candy—you will turn to it

14. There’s no concealer on earth that can mitigate the impact of caffeine-and-sugar-free weekday mornings at the 6:30, but go ahead and try.

15. Extra guitar strings