Vatican’s Conference on Women: Torso Tales
The Vatican’s conference on women has yielded an embarrassment of embarrassments. Winning the Worst-Of Award, trouncing strong contenders such as the bizarre blond-lady video, the “burqa made of flesh,” the “statistics” which prove women don’t want ordination and the #lifeofwomen tag, is this image of a Man Ray sculpture, found on the Outline page for the Women’s Cultures Plenary Assembly.
I called Cardinal Ravasi, the reported responsible party, to ask why. He said that the website design had been outsourced.
“Well,” he said. “First we tried to hire my nephew — he’s an American. Made it big on Wall Street, market crashed, now he’s doing some kind of internet thing. ‘Patrick,’ I said, ‘Could you help us out?’ He said he was too busy. So he suggested someone else, I’m afraid he didn’t do such a good job.”
“It is…a bear…he seemed…businesslike. Patrick said he was ‘amazeballs at this stuff.’ It was a bad mistake.”
“You know, Your Eminence, it’s not really appropriate given that women are depicted this way pretty much everywhere, and the Vatican already has a ‘your torsos must be subdued’ vibe towards women.”
“The bear said it was a commentary on the male gaze. The bear said it was something we could…unpack?”
“Why don’t you just take it down?”
“No one in this entire city-state knows how to do that and the bear isn’t answering my texts.”
I kicked my desk after this conversation and hurt no one but myself.
Later, I think the Cardinal may have subtweeted me an apology of sorts here:
Which made me feel the eensiest bit better. For a second. @NovusOrdoWatch left the Vatican in the dust.
Where is La Poucelle when we need her?
Mary Valle lives in Baltimore and is the author of Cancer Doesn't Give a Shit About Your Stupid Attitude: Reflections on Cancer and Catholicism. She blogs on KtB as The Communicant. For more Mary, check out her blog or follow her on Twitter.