KtBlog

Killing the Buddha

A Secular Grief Observed

His classroom became his chapel.

The Naked Pastor, www.nakedpastor.com

The Day U.S. Evangelicalism Died

As reported in Religion Dispatches, on December 16th, 2012, U.S. evangelicalism uttered its last breath. On this day, Fox News pundit Mike Huckabee (a.k.a. Mr. “More Conversation, Less Confrontation”) joined forces with Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, and American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer to proclaim that the school massacre in Newtown,…

Killing the Buddha

Lake Comeagain

KtB’s devoted cryptozoologist and volunteer typesetter, David Lloyd Rabig, has been moonlighting as an archivist over at A Prairie Home Companion. The other day when we were waiting for our laundry, he was telling us how a certain Mr. Keillor wasn’t always the rhubarb and meatloaf man he is today. Here’s one of the lost…

Mary, you left <em>this</em>in the conference room. Get a hold of yourself.

The Douthat Obsession

From the KtB inbox this morning: Dear Killing the Buddha, We have noticed some suspicious internet activity on the part of subject Mary Valle. We observed that she clicked on this article over 500 times in the last 24 hours. Also, we intercepted some suspicious emails to the author of the article. Excerpts are below.…

shorts

Pastor Jones: Some Other Combustibles

Dear Pastor Terry Jones, You’re all fired up about burning Qur’ans on 9/11. OK. We get that. But, at the last minute, perhaps you’ll reconsider your choice of fuel? Think about it: American kids getting slaughtered because of you does not make you look good. Besides, bonfires are a fun fall activity. Why not toss…

Illustration by Mary Valle.

Won’t Someone Think About the Parishioners?

A KtB reporter was on the streets when the news broke about Mel Gibson’s tirades. Our concern: his flock at his own Church of the Holy Family in Malibu. The wee church, which supports 70 or so members with a mere $42 million in assets, holds Tridentine Masses for so-called “traditional” Catholics who reject the…

Killing the Buddha

Sacrilege?

He’s just a “regular guy” who, like so many of us, heads off for a new, exciting life in the Big Apple. So reads the plot sketch for a cartoon series Comedy Central is considering called “JC.” The protagonist leaves for NYC to “escape his father’s enormous shadow,” which actually sounds pretty funny. Apparently, JC’s…

Pie chart

Secret Vatican Pie Chart Revealed

To: Fr. Cantalassa, Fr. Lombardi, Cardinal Bertone From: “Joe” Subject: Recent Annoyances If the questions persist, stick to the plan. Remember: clockwise around the pie, for our Lord most high. Attero secundum lectio.

Killing the Buddha

We Blush at Papal Generosity

“Civil law … should always be followed.” Vatican, you’re the best!

Killing the Buddha

Ingrate Rejects Hajj Souvenirs

What the hell kind of souvenirs are these? Caftans? Prayer beads? Dates? I was hoping you’d bring me a t-shirt or a keychain or at the very least, a plastic stoning-the-pillar snowglobe! Jesus! Next time, don’t bother! @

Killing the Buddha

Rebranding Sin

Sin! It might seem like fun at the time, but It’ll Bite You in the Ass (TM) @

Killing the Buddha

Please Don’t Tell Me What Hell Is

Rusty trailers barbed wire fences polygamy/molesting (natch) child labor nutjob leader “heaven on earth?” @

Killing the Buddha

Chuck Colson Talks Turkey

Youngsters, Things like the environment and hunger can wait. Or not. So we all starve to death or are drowned in tsunamis. Who cares? God doesn’t. What does God care about? Glad you asked. No funny business with members of your same, uh, sex. No abortions. And keeping America safe for Christianity. OK? Got that?…

Killing the Buddha

The Cafeteria Is Closed, Boyo

You want your Eucharist, Patrick, my lad? Go back to Boston @

Killing the Buddha

Woof ‘n’ Worship

From the Private Journal of Rev. Tom Eggebeen— November the 22nd, year of our Lord 2009 Woof ‘n’ Worship! My wild fancy has taken root and grown, grown beyond my most fervid imaginings. My sanctuary brims with gentlemen and ladies and their animal companions, all come to share the Good News of Our Lord Jesus…

Killing the Buddha

Youth Minister Discusses Catholic “Defectors”

In other words, the Mystical Body of Christ is the Hotel California @

Killing the Buddha

Christian Community Lifestyle, Eh?

This new radio PSA says I should have my documents safe in case “something happens” and it kinda freaks me out @

Killing the Buddha

Young and Hip!

Dear mainline Protestants, In the spirit of ecumenical sharing, here’s how you bring in the youngsters! (Believe me, these work) Guitars! Felt banners! Any and all of Ray Repp’s Mass for a Young America in heavy rotation (That’s FM radio lingo); Bible study/”rap sessions” —get some beanbags and have it in your rectory’s living room…