News Roundup: God is Woman

On Christmas, a shirtless member of the group Femen, Yana Zhdanova, took the baby Jesus from the St. Peter’s Square nativity scene and shouted “God is woman!” before a guard grabbed her and “covered her chest with his cloak.” Vatican: you should know more than anyone (after 2,000 years in the creche biz) that, where there is an unsecured Baby Jesus, there will be someone to take it. (Him?) Femen: the photo on your front page is more “ad for strip club” then “liberation of womankind” FYI. I guess snowflake pasties sell more hoodies for your cause, anyway.

After cooling her heels in the Vatican’s jail, Zhdanova was released and forbidden to return to the Vatican again. The Vatican jail, to my disappointment, isn’t all fluffy white wall-to-wall and cloth of gold coveralls. It’s just a cell in the sovereign city-state’s police HQ.

In other Vatican/women’s news, you have until January 4 to get your #lifeofwomen videos and photos in for the Pontifical Council of Culture’s upcoming assembly on the “cultures of women.” Item three of four on the list of hot topics is “the female body: between culture and biology.” Do y’all ever call a congress of women to talk about “the male body: between culture and biology?” Maybe talk about men’s unique role in the propagation of the species and man’s innate, special genius for caring about other people? Ask men to submit one-minute videos about being men? Anyway, the Women’s Ordination Congress thinks this might be a good opportunity to “remind the Vatican that women are not just a topic for study, but humans with rights, minds, and autonomy, made in God’s image.” Humans, eh? *chin scratch*

Meanwhile, an inspirational quote has been making the rounds on Facebook.


This never happened, but it was welcomed by a lot of folk, who once again affirmed their love of Papa F.  I was immediately skeptical, since such talk would pretty much ruin the Franchise. Popes don’t give the go-ahead to SBNRs. Popes don’t recommend going outside and communing with the trees instead of going to Mass. Popes don’t say “don’t give us any money.” Unless, of course, the sedevacanticists are right and/or it’s also one of those “seals” of the Rapture, the End of Days may be upon us again.

In which case, I will head for nature and let the trees shelter me from fireballs as best they can.









Mary Valle lives in Baltimore and is the author of Cancer Doesn't Give a Shit About Your Stupid Attitude: Reflections on Cancer and Catholicism. She blogs on KtB as The Communicant. For more Mary, check out her blog or follow her on Twitter.