Just a Few Questions
SS. Dismas and Gestas Elementary School
Parents: Please fill out the following questions so that we may get to know you better!
1. How was your child conceived?
___ Unnaturally (IVF, Donor Egg, Contraception Failure)
2. What is your parental arrangement?
___ Heterosexual, married
___ Heterosexual, divorced
___ Homosexual, “married”
___ Homosexual, divorced
3. Do you have more than two children?
If not, please explain why.
4. Do you have any questionable children’s books such as
HEATHER HAS TWO MOMMIES or FREE TO BE YOU AND ME?
5. Do you have any homosexual relatives nearby?
6. What is your Mass attendance?
___Daily ___Sunday ___Saturday vigil ___Spotty
7. What would you do if your child reported some kind of funny business with Fr. Tim? ___Ignore it
8. Do you have any questionable bumper stickers on your car?
Examples: MY OTHER CAR IS A BROOM, IF YOU DON’T LIKE ABORTION, DON’T HAVE ONE, CONDOMS SAVE LIVES, KUCINICH 2006
9. Do you have a well-stocked snack pantry?
10. How would you respond to questions about sex?
Change the subject___ Pretend not to hear___
Thanks for your help, and I look forward to seeing some of you at Back-to-School Night!
Yours in Christ,
Mary Valle lives in Baltimore and is the author of Cancer Doesn't Give a Shit About Your Stupid Attitude: Reflections on Cancer and Catholicism. She blogs on KtB as The Communicant. For more Mary, check out her blog or follow her on Twitter.