Pope’s Magic Number of Children: Major Clue Revealed

Pope Francis has come out in favor of siblings. “Siblings help you keep your eyes off yourself,” he said, adding

To grow up in a family alongside other children is a profound human experience that reaches its fulfillment in Jesus Christ, who became our brother and made us all children of God the Father.

I had to discuss this with fellow KtB editor Kaya Oakes, who recently wrote about the puzzle of  “Vati-math.” In light of the Pope’s statements that Catholics shouldn’t breed like rabbits, but also that not having children was selfish, she asked “what is the Pope’s ideal number of children: selfishness = 0, rabbits = too many, so what’s just right?” I have been wondering the same thing too. When I learned of the “siblings” variable, I was thrilled. “We have a parameter!” I announced to Kaya.

Instead of this:

We have this!

 

However, only child Jesus is “shit out of luck,” noted Kaya. I considered that God must be selfish too, according to His own metrics. However, there’s always the “if the President does it, that means it’s not illegal” variable. This is no mere math, but nonetheless, we will solve this equation. There’s a magic number between 1 and rabbits. We will find it.

IftheLordSoWillsItAmen.