Catholic Watergate

Are you one of those who loves Watergate, and wishes that you could have lived through it? Is All the President’s Men one of your favorite movies? Did you spend a summer at the pool reading John Dean’s memoir? Recently? Are you getting chills at the thought of a “cancer” creeping its way towards the papacy? Friends! Fellow members of the Mystical Body of Christ! I do believe that we may be witnessing our own, greater, far more terrible (both in crime and scale) Catholic Watergate.

But what to call this impending implosion? (Let’s just retire the -gate ending once and for all.) Here are a few ideas:

1. The Fall of Rome (The Fall for short)
2. Molesticon
3. The Great Exorcism
4. Sinfest
5. #RapeFail
6. Suffer the Rapists (into Hell)
7. Extreme Extreme Unction
8. Eyelog
9. Sticky Fingerlooza
10. Holy Chickenhawks!

P.S. The real reason for the gowns is now quite apparent. Ewwww.