animals

A Wonder-Cabinet of Creation(ism)
Snakes appear in almost every one of the museum’s exhibits, perhaps as a reminder of Satan’s lone virtue: persistence.

Atheists Bank on the Rapture
Never mind friends and family who’ll be left behind when you’re Raptured—what about those you really love? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, “The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World,” promises “to step in when you step up to Jesus.” Purchase a ten-year Rapture insurance plan for just $110, and rest easy, knowing…

Woof ‘n’ Worship
From the Private Journal of Rev. Tom Eggebeen— November the 22nd, year of our Lord 2009 Woof ‘n’ Worship! My wild fancy has taken root and grown, grown beyond my most fervid imaginings. My sanctuary brims with gentlemen and ladies and their animal companions, all come to share the Good News of Our Lord Jesus…

When Gods Disappear
The brothers were racing for the sun. What brothers don’t create such fantastic games of competition and daring, even when they are gods? Especially if they are gods. Jatayu and Sampati were the vulture gods, soaring upon seven-foot wings higher and higher. Jatayu was winning. But the sun was hot, and Jatayu too determined to…

When God Created Pigeons
When God created pigeons he probably thought: Man needs a flying crap vacuum as he reached down into his big bag of rocks and took his Bubbalicious bubblegum out of his mouth and made two little feet. Then he waved his magic wand over his creation, said something in Pig Latin and sprinkled a little…

A Vegan Fast
Christos anesti. Over the years I’ve used the season of Lent as a sort of laboratory for experiments with truth. Perhaps that’s not the most properly penitential way to go about these 40 days of fasting, which should be more outwardly directed than inwardly, calling us out of ourselves to service, repentance, giving, and recognition…