Pontifigate Comes to Downing Street

Young Steven Mulvain has come under fire for a leaked British Foreign Office memo in which he suggests some activities for the Pope in his upcoming visit to Britain, including “asking the Pope to open an abortion clinic, bless a gay marriage and launch a range of Benedict-branded condoms.” The Foreign Office has apologized profusely and transferred the junior civil servant, and the Vatican indicates that Benedict’s visit will proceed as planned. But what if they weren’t, in fact, jokes? What if Mulvain was showing an unusually sensitive ear to the Pope’s concerns? Let’s look at the evidence.

1. What if the range of Benedict-themed condoms were, in fact, theologically correct?

2. Maybe another way of looking at “gay marriage” is “a couple of good friends who live together chastely.” It is possible.

3. “Abortion” is another word for “opportunity.” Just because you’re a, say, “crisis pregnancy center” doesn’t mean you have to do that. Maybe the Pope could open a nice place where women in trouble could stay for, say, nine months, instead of about an hour?